Atomic
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• New Orleans, LA, USA |
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• Registered on 1/9/2004 |
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• 67 posts |
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 Posted:2/3/2004 13:58 |
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what the hell??
my girlie.. well.. i guess now ex girlie.... 
we had a great relationship.. and everything was fucking perfect.. i get mad at her one night because she started putting up this wall between us (i wasnt even that mad.. just concerned.. and i told her this..)..because all of a sudden she went from being the perfect girlfriend to being a completely unemotional shell. so i wanted to help her and find out what was going on.. maybe we could work through it.
so she decided sunday night that "[she] cant treat [me] like [i] deserve to be treated." and went on to say "i cant be in a healthy relationship with you right now.." and.. "i need to work on myself before i can be with anyone."
what the fuck is that crap?? 
and while shes completely ripping my heart out and crushing it into tiny vaporized little pieces, shes just sitting there.. cold and unemotional. "this is what i have to do. please say goodbye."
and today.. she text messages me "i hope things are going well for you. i wanted to know if you could send me my things. dont think this isnt hard for me too, but its what i have to do. im sorry."
i tried to tell her it doesnt have to be this way.. but shes fucking determined to throw it away. she even told me while we were together, and she was sane, "i may try to run, if i do or try to break up with you, remind me of how good i have it and dont let me."
so.. OK..
now, im doing that..
i tell her "right now youre doing all those things you told me you never wanted to happen.. and those things you told me you never wanted me to let you do."
and she just gets pissed and says "im doing what i have to do. please dont make this harder. tell me you'll send me my things. i need to do this."
what the fuck am i supposed to do man! 
i dont understand this..
its fucking stupid.
now i got nothin. just my band. that occupies alot of my time.. but man when there isnt anything to do or when im trying to fucking sleep all i can think about is her and i havent slept in days. what the fuck. i dont know what to do.. i cant get through to her. and i cant sleep.
my 3 close friends i have left from high school... 2 are married to each other and never leave the fucking house.. and the other fucking turned into a corn flake. so now all i have to occupy my time besides my band is to fucking think about her and miss her.
the worst part is..
she was my friend for 5 years before we got together.. my best friend.
now not only have i lost someone i truly love.. but my best friend as well.
i told her this.. and she has the nerve to say "how do you know im your best friend?"
AFTER she fucking admitted a long ass time ago that i was her best friend and she was mine.
what the fuck
i was going to marry that girl.
now i'll be lucky if i can fucking forget about her.
-Joe-
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Swampy
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• New Orleans, LA, USA |
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• Registered on 5/14/2003 |
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• 964 posts |
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 Posted:2/3/2004 14:26 |
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Seems suspisious.. I dont know her but I know women and when they act crazy.. There is ussually a reason.. (Like someone else.) I hope that is not the case but I suggest that you let her go and move on with your life...
Dont bother with her anymore. If she doesnt care why should you... I know it seems hard now but you will get over her.. and you will be a better man for it..
Just ask Josh....  
Seroiusly though.. You will be fine.. Just get yourself together and dont sweat her..
Like Sting says ... If you love somebody... Blah blah blah..
IT will all work out for the best.. With her or without her...
Good luck. and consider this a big hug and pat on the back from a friend..
What am I saying..   
Ok ... Hope you feel better..
Carl
Eat , Drink, Mud... What else is there?
93 JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE ............
My imagestation (Red Creek)
http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=4289664779
My Web Page..
http://home.bellsouth.net/p/s/community.dll?ep=16&groupid=94531&ck=
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Atomic
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• New Orleans, LA, USA |
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• Registered on 1/9/2004 |
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• 67 posts |
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Posted:2/3/2004 15:06 |
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thanks carlito.
its just tough though.. because when she was sane.. she was actually the perfect girlfriend.
maybe that should have sent up a red flag.. but.. hey.. i give people the benefit of the doubt.
and you know, i thought it suspicious too.. so i just flat out asked her. "are you going to date someone else?" and she said "it will be a very long time before i even consider a relationship with anyone... and i know that if i end this with you right now i will probably never have another chance with you and that really sucks.. but i have to do this."
i dont know if thats a load of crap or what.. but i guess it makes me feel better.
sorta.
maybe..
..not really.
at least one good thing will come of it.. looks like now that i have no plans.. i will be able to make the M&G this weekend. and i'll finally be able to give patrick his paintball stuff back.
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Donzi
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• New Orleans, LA, USA |
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• Registered on 6/7/2003 |
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• 259 posts |
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Posted:2/3/2004 15:39 |
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Men are not judged by their entrance but by their exit. All I can say is that its better to cut your losses now when your not married, no kids no house together etc... Think of it as a lucky break. Because no matter what, people are going to do what they are going to do and its no use chasing a woman who isn't interested, you'll only end up looking like a chump. I don't mean to sound hard on you but as my dad would always say "if your looking for sympathy its in the dictionary between $h*t and syphilis" I'd be willing to bet that everyone on this board can symphasize with you in having lost someone they once loved. So, you are definietley not alone inb going through that sort of thing but just stick it out and pull yourself through the crap your feeling. A good start might be wheeling with us on the trip to red creek o the 21st!!
You'll feel better as time goes on and just remember THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!
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John Robert Miller
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• Baton Rouge, LA, USA |
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• Registered on 12/21/2002 |
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• 596 posts |
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Posted:2/3/2004 17:06 |
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Her name isn't Shelly, is it? That's almost exactly what I went through with my last ex about a year and half ago. I feel your pain. Can't offer much except drink more. |
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Atomic
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• New Orleans, LA, USA |
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• Registered on 1/9/2004 |
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• 67 posts |
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Posted:2/3/2004 17:58 |
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thanks guys, i appreciate the support.
im not looking for sympathy. just looking to vent. it really has me all pissed off.
pet peeve number 1 of mine is feeling like i wasted time..
and number 2 is when people do illogical things..
so thats 2 at one time.. over and over drilled into my skull as if i needed it. 
shes got me almost believeing it was my fault because i was trying to be there when she needed me and be the friend that i always been. she said that me doing that made her feel pressure all of a sudden.. so i asked her.. "what, exactly, in the fuck is so wrong with being treated nicely and with respect.. like you deserve to be treated and like you want other people to treat you?"
she had no answer for that.
i wont make the red creek run on the 21st as were scheduled to play in BFE on the 22nd. but i will make it for the 7th as my plans for this weekend are suddenly open.
JRM> no her name isnt shelly.. but it seems like this same thing happens over and over with me. maybe i treat them too good and they freak out ...or some shit.
who knows.
my friends have always told me that i need to be an asshole. ive tried but i just cant. im not an asshole.. so i guess i just keep on keepin on until i find a chick that keeps her head out of her ass. maybe by then, hopefully, i wont be so bitter that i wont see it.
whats worse is my fucking bed smells like her perfume and shampoo. it wont fucking go away. so now when im trying to go to sleep her scent punches me in the fucking face. I gotta sleep on the couch in my own house until that shit goes away.
sorry about all of the cussing.. but .. well... motherfucker. you know?
-Joe-
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schmuck
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• nola, XX, USA |
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• Registered on 5/21/2003 |
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• 1,187 posts |
• 1
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Posted:2/3/2004 18:26 |
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i agree with carl on this it sounds like there was someone else i hate to say it but everything youve said sounds like it to me,
dont let it get you down you seem like a nice guy and she didnt deserve you any way
every woman i know is nuts ALL OF THEM including my wife and my mother
maybe this isnt the right advice for you but its always worked for me - just dont care, treat them right when you are with them but dont get to hung up on them, stay independent, so if they do leave it doesent bother you that much it will be no worse than loosing a pet, and if they do come crawling back because they need you to lay some more pipe or the guy they are with beats her up then you get the satisfaction of denying them or taking them back in and when she gets comfortable with you again you can kick her ass to the curb
but definatly dont get married unless your damn sure shes the right one for you
nucking futs
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Atomic
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• New Orleans, LA, USA |
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• Registered on 1/9/2004 |
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• 67 posts |
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Posted:2/3/2004 18:53 |
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i thought she was the right one for me. thats one of the things thats so damn confusing.
you know, i asked her why when she was with me before.. she was being herself and everythig was so great.. but all of a sudden she just switched off..and became this other person.
well.. she said.."the person i was with you was someone i thought i was or thought i could be again.. but i guess its not me.. and i guess you just dont know me like you think you do."
but its not like that..
see.. the person that she was with me IS who she really is.. and i know this not just because of her actions.. people just dont 'act' like she was with me. but because she said this other revealing thing:
"when i was with you and when we first started out, i forgot about everything else in my life and forgot about life in general.."
so that TELLS me right there.. that she was really being herself when she was the perfect girl for me.
but for some reason she just went "click" one day and switched into this other person.
it sucks!
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Bowtie Blazer
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• Baton Rouge, LA, USA |
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• Registered on 5/27/2003 |
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• 1,220 posts |
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Posted:2/3/2004 20:59 |
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| Quote: | | Just ask Josh.... |
I've had that exact girlfriend before anyone on this board really knew me, and thats why I now have so many of you as friends, I have my ownlife not "I can't goto the meet and greet because"....same circumstances, out of the blue, I need a break, I was SLAMMED to the floor, I used to drive as fast as I could till I got scared, used to punish myself in a sense. You know what? She came back! 5mths later(you guys still didnt know me) We were lookign real good at getting back together, and you know what?! IT HAPPENED AGAIN! Lesson learned this time stay away from this girl no matter how much it hurts...I did and it took me just totally avoiding her, taking down pictures changing anythign and everything. It takes time.
Hate to say it your situation sounds like she is seeing someone else, a guy may use the excuse but girls are way too insecure to figure themselves out, maybe 10% can do it alone, 85% of men can, girls lets face it they need someone to deal with them and their rollercoaster(the red tide), they won't admitt it but i've come to find its true.
Don't think of it as wasted think of it as a learning experience, I'll tell you one day how made I had it....and I was pissed because I wasted time, but its helped all the better in dating better girls for me, ones who know me and respect me and understand why I drive a thrashed 84 K-5 Blazer with so much invested.
Don't try to argue it was perfect, been there thought that and every guy on this board can have their own story too Except rob! JUST DONT
Do I ever still think about the first girl from my first thoughts, YOU BET! Don't let it hold you down!
NOW WORDS OF WISDOM AND ADVICE
run... run fast!!! 
Seriously think about it, when was the last time you have been to a bar/club/high school??!
There are way too many girls and fine girls that need to be treated right that are avalible. See a fine ass girl walking with some dude? Yep she is or was avalible at some time, never sell yourself short, the ball is in your park, enjoy yourself and your band, and we're all here jackign around all the time anyway, even those married people
Or you can not listen to me, and never live alone and for yourself and experience life, I want a family too someday and a nice understanding wife etc etc. But you know what bud? I'm 21! Too much more to figure out, When I turn 28 I might start worrying. If I die tomorrow without a girlie, its not in my control anyway.
Seriously keeping a girl and you or her not really feeling 95% sure of things is wastign your time and hers, she can find someone else and you can find someone else
If you want to listen and live in mysery cuz you can't let go and live without someone else talk to rob
We're all here for ya bro! 
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Atomic
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• New Orleans, LA, USA |
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• Registered on 1/9/2004 |
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• 67 posts |
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Posted:2/3/2004 21:54 |
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thanks for the advice dude. its good to know that im not alone.. and that all this same stuff happens to other guys too and not just me.
i hope shes not seeing someone else..because thats just a serious hit to the ego. besides the fact that ive always been dumped for other guys who were better looking.
at least one of the girls i dated a long time ago actually admitted to that.."i broke up with you to go out with him because he is more attractive. sorry."
nice.
anyway.. i get that kind of shit alot. which is a blessing and a curse.
blessing because im used to being rejected.. and you kind of get numb to it after a while. its the only thing that keeps you from driving into a tree.
and a curse because it still hurts and takes alot out of you when it happens.
to answer your question about the bars and clubs, im a musician.. so im always in and out of those places.. yeah girls galore.. but its still scary.. i guess because im a romantic guy. i really want to find that one girl and stick with her.
as far as high schools.. lol.. im a 25 year old overweight italian.. '
so if i went there im sure id get arrested before i got a date.
it doesnt help much when 99% of the girls pass you by. i actually had one girl go on a date with me and tell me.."i cant see you anymore. you remind me of my dad and he used to beat me."
again... nice.
so.. yeah i get that kind of shit alot too.. it makes me wonder if tthere are any girls out there that are actually well adjusted and arent looking to just play around. i dont play games. they just piss me off.
ive noticed that women dont usually make eye contact with me. sometimes its fun because i can check them out.. and i can see the look on their face is like.."omg.. dont look at him dont look at him" but if i look at em and smile long enough they have to look me in the eye.. so i fuck with them a bit and give them the old snap and point..  which is what theyre expecting.. and they huff, roll their eyes, and shuffle off. sometimes thats a hoot..
but most of the time when they would rather look at the floor or step on your face than look you in the eye when you say a passing hello, it just sucks. Ive had girls that have gone out of their way to avoid a passing glance. like.. out of their way to where theyre tripping over shit.. and all ive done is happen to look in their direction and smile. for...oh.. about 1/8th of a second. id swear sometimes that im a leper or something.
but hey its all in the world of being unattractive by conventional means.
so its rather a rarity when a girl actually takes the time to smile at me.. much less get to know me, date me, or hang around with me long enough to figure out that im actually a pretty likeable guy.
its even more of a rarity when i allow them to get close enough to me for me to develop feelings for them.. given my past experiences.
i live for the day when my band makes it..
and im making jillions of dollars and hosting trail runs on my private 400 acre preserve for all my 2bb buddies.. and various other stars.. and all the hot girls are lining up by the hundreds because they think they can get my money..
if im single then i can just lay it on em, get up, and tell them to get the fuck out.
and theyll love me for it.
thats not what i WANT to do.. its not really me. id rather just have one decently attractive girl who loves me and appreciates me. who i can share things with and the joys of being in a band and travelling.
as far as nicole goes,
i can let go and live without her. ive told her this.. these exact words: "i can live without you. i just dont want to." and thats true. i can. i have before.. and for a long time. im used to being alone. and i can be comfortable like that. i just dont like to be. im glad that you guys are here to talk to.
its been a long time since ive really had any friends so to speak.
my close friends are more like aquaintances.. im really not included in most of their gatherings. and they really dont understand me well enough for me to talk to. so.. its a difficult thing living years without anyone to talk to.
so i do appreciate the advice you guys are giving me.
nicole was really the first person i have ever had in a long time that i could really talk to.. and talk to about anything. she was my best friend. so, now that shes gone, thats gone too.
i think thats the hardest part about all of this.
what i need most right now is her friendship..because i need someone who understands me to talk to.. but i cant have that.. because thats gone too.
it means alot that you guys are here and are willing to help out someone that you hardly know.
if any of you need anything dont hesitate to ask.
-Joe-
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